my inspiration, my hero

Stephen Christian is quite possibly the most brilliant man on this earth. Seriously, his words push me forward. His music is amazing, and so is his book.

Self portrait

Recent not so interesting photos

Lyrics that are constantly stuck in my head...

But Your love
Your love
The only thing that matters is Your love
Your love is all I have to give
Your love is enough to light up the darkness
It’s Your love
Your love
all I ever needed is Your love

Anyways...
I'm so glad that I have found my passion.
Wednesday, I spent somewhere around 8-9 hours in the dark room at The Art Institute just messing around. I was completely absorbed into what I was doing. I'm getting better at printing. I'm so sucked in to learning about the dark room and developing now... I love film so much more than digital, it's just.. different. I don't know what it is. But it's different. And it's real to me. I'm not saying that digital isnt real, not at all. Both film and digital require skills to take a good photograph that isnt just another snapshot by someone with a camera. But there is just something about film that I love. Seeing your images appear on your roll of film is just..awesome!

Well considering I havent been too proud of the photos I've been taking (rushrushrushrushrush)..This is the best I've got.. for now..I just havent put any new photos up lately and I feel like I should be putting some of my recent work up... The lighting on my drinks is slowly getting better, I think.

 

 

Monkeys!

I havent really uploaded any of my recent assignments... because for the most part.. I am disappointed with my work since I'm rushing this quarter. I don't even want to look at most of my photos and I would prefer to drag most of them in to the trash bin..

So here. This is what I did my first quarter at AIP. Both were for Fundamentals of Design. I guess I have some sort of artsy whatever in me.

A monkey made out of letters.

This was part of a seven deadly sins project.. It's suppose to show greed.. and I had to use the monkey. I made it in Adobe Illustrator. Apparently I can draw better on the computer than I can with a pencil (I can't draw crap with a pencil)....

I got an A. woot! I really love that monkey ^^^^^

Derp

It is completely possible to get photo assignments done and have fun at the same time.
Actually, I haven't had much fun in weeks. I need stuff like this once in a while......or I'll go psycho again like I did last quarter....I froze my butt off today to get photos for my assignments (and so did Claire, THANKS!!!)

What once was just my photobooth... fish picture... turned in to a mess of other photos...(yes.. we STILL have fun in photobooth...) I'll upload photos from my real assignment once I get them set up in Lightroom and junk.. they are still on my camera :P

I had a plan... which involved painting on Claire's face to get photos.. well.. I should have known we would never be able to handle something like that..

I really, really hate that I'm trying so hard in digital image management, but I am like.. a borderline C right now. seriously? I dont know what else to do. That is the class that I spend the most time on because I consider that teacher to be absolutely brilliant. I am improving too. And I keep getting the same exact grade every week. Apparently I'm not improving enough. I need to think of ideas....


..............

I'm out of ideas for this quarter.
I want it to be over.

YAY!!!!!!!!

Claire is home, Claire is home, Claire is home, CLAIRE IS HOOOOOME!!!!!
I feel so much better knowing that my best friend is 15 minutes away from me instead of 12 hours.

I had to shoot photos for a project due Tuesday (what else is new?).. and I got some really awesome shots thanks to Claire..

but of course, the usual goofing off had to take place......

So glad you're home. I missed this kind of stuff.

Nope.

If I have one more person tell me I should stop doing my 4 year degree in 3 and do it in the complete 4 years instead, I'm going to snap. Yes I'm stressed beyond belief. I'm cutting a year off of my degree, and it's already bad enough that AIP quarters have a faster pace than normal college semesters. But I am not your average person. I will never be your average person. I love what I'm going to school for, I love what I'm doing. And it is true that I'm taking way more photos than I can handle right now, I'm slowly going insane due to my 4 photo classes (on top of chemistry).. But like I said, I'm not average. I've been through some really hellish experiences for only being 19 years old. Did I ever let those stop me? No, I didn't. And I wont. I wont stop. If you think I should give up on doing my 4 year degree in 3 years, then you obviously don't know who I am or what I am capable of. You have not seen what I have been through and the pain I have endured. You do not know me. I have an unstoppable drive. And no matter how stressed I am, or how badly some days I just want to roll over in bed and not move for a month, I'm not doing my 4 year degree in 4 years. I'm not. I am completely focused on what I am doing and I'm not going to stop. I've been through tougher things than this. This really is not THAT hard this quarter. It is just taking up all of my time and leaving me with absolutely none for myself, which is why I'm going insane. After a while, not having any free time really gets to you. But i'm on week 5, and it should be getting a little easier after this. 2 week break after week 11. I'm looking forward to it.

And I definitely am improving. Or at least I hope I am. I get the same exact grade in digital image management every week, yet I've been spending a ton more time on my photos for that class. These are all for that class. Themes for photos - architecture, circles, drinks..

 

 

 

  

 

 

More digital image management stuff

i feel kind of sad tonight.. and it probably doesnt help that i'm listening to iris.. because that song instantly makes me sad.

I want this quarter to be over so bad. It's turning in to a nightmare. Did I mention that I did not do my photojournalism assignment that was due last week? hahahahaha. hilarious. not.  i'm behind on everything, including breathing, sleeping, existing, having a life outside of school/photography. All I do is photography, everyday, all the time. Which isnt a bad thing, but I would like to have a life or a day to myself once in a while. I don't hang out with anybody, I don't do anything, I don't go out and enjoy a day for myself because I feel so guilty since I know I have a ton of stuff that needs done for school. 4 shooting classes... never again.. never again.

At least my stock photos for digital image management are improving every week, which is surprising because I haven't had much time to actually TRY to improve. This quarter is quantity over quality. I hate saying that, but it's true. I'm trying to take good photos in the amount of time I have, but sadly, sometimes I take them just to make sure I get something turned in for the assignment.

These were done with a single light set up, my canon speedlite 580ex.. & it was set up on a spinny chair... I set up the drinks on a stool with a white table cloth as the backdrop. i'm glad my parents deal with my odd set ups around the house.

On a completely random note.. this is what my room looks like every weekend now (and this picture was taken on one of my better weekends..) .. if you know me, you know that I absolutely hate it when my room is a mess. I hate feeling disorganized & not being able to find anything. It makes my life even more chaotic than it already is.